Friday, August 26, 2011

Make or Break

It is now my third day here in Cardinal Santos hospital. Last Tuesday (August 23), I started to feel sick. My mom thought that I was just over-fatigue from Daniel. Hahahahaha. Seriously, she thought I was over-fatigue from work. So she just told me to rest since I was also on day-off that time. When she got home that night, my fever didn't go down. Instead, it went higher to the point that I was chilling to death haha. The next day mom decided to bring me here in this hospital to have my blood checked. After some tests, I was diagnosed of being positive in dengue.


This situation that we are facing right now made me realize a lot of things. First of all, it once again reminded of how faithful God is in providing for our needs and that He is in control. Last night, one of mom's friends handed her a paper. When mom looked at the paper, it was a receipt of the current charges that we already incurred, She already paid for it :')


Because of this incident, I've also come to realize who my true friends really are; who really loves and cares; who really went out of their way despite the distance; and who just says they care, get well soon, blah blah and that's it. YOUR ACTIONS ARE TOO LOUD I CAN'T EVEN HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.


My ever-loving and patient mom, my dad (even if he's away), my brother, yaya Aida, titos and titas, cousins, Daniel, Rocherrie, Love, Mike, Sir Joseph and mom's friends. I couldn't thank you enough for being so loving and supportive. My heart leaps for joy as I see each of you walk into the door. You give me strength and much more reason to really fight this sickness. You give me more reasons to fight for my life :') I don't know what I did to deserve to have you in my life. THANK YOU :')


I always do my best to show everyone especially my mom that I am ok, that I am strong and that I am not even affected too much because I don't want them to worry way too much. So when everybody's gone and mom's asleep, I cry. I wake up in the middle of the night or in the wee hours of the morning and cry. I cry not because I'm afraid of what could possibly happen to me. I cry because I'm afraid of hurting and breaking my family's heart and everyone's else who would be involved or affected. I've already caused enough troubles and heartaches to my family.


It's also mom's birthday today and I blame myself that she wouldn't be able to celebrate it the way she wants. Instead, she will just be stuck here in the hospital with me. But I am very thankful to my mom. Never did I see her frown or say or make any gesture that she doesn't like what she's doing. I love her so much! :)


Tonight is make or break. If my platelet count continues to go down, I shall be undergoing blood transfusion. But if it miraculously goes up, I might just be able to go home tomorrow :)

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