the days after Twilight...^___^

I miss you! I miss blogging. So the title is such because i just want it that way haha. There are no underlying meanings with that or something. Well, this post is about the days of the week which were after the day I watched Twilight. Haha. Too much explanation :p

November 26 (Wednesday) - Ordinary day. We had no Joseriz. Abbie cut class haha. We watched "American Adobo". Kel and I sat in front. What else? Cathwor, as usual, was boring.

November 27 (Thursday) - Such a wonderful day! I started it nice and ended it the same way. I just got a little irritated when my favorite professor (sarcastic) scolded me for a fault that I didn't even do! @#*&^*@#&^@!!! Grr. Ok so he was roll-calling us for the attendance and he accidentally skipped my name (for the second time!). So i raised my hand to tell him that he didn't call me. And all of a sudden he just got mad and told me that I wasn't listening to him that's why I didn't hear my name. My seatmate and the one in front of me didn't even hear it too!! In addition to that, he even thought that my last name was the name that he was calling before I raised my hand. Do you get the picture? So he was mad and didn't even listen to me. I know I wasn't the one who looked stupid. He did. Oh well. That didn't overpower me for the next 5 minutes. During the break, I bought an application form for YHE. After class, my friend PJ and I had lunch in House Blends. Of course it was his treat. I feel kind of shy because he always pays. I mean, should I really feel obligated to like have a part of the bill? Yes, I know that the guy or the one who invited is the one who should pay but I just don't know why I feel obligated to pay. Maybe because I'm not used to it? Because I got used to being the one who pays or KKB? Haha. Such a loser. But I had fun. So much fun =)

November 28 (Friday) - Our group prepared cream of broccoli & mushroom, grilled chicken, fake Italian pizza, pesto, and mango float.I had fun except for those moments when I got pissed because there was somebody in our group who didn't even help in washing the dishes!! And what pisses me off even more is that our professor never saw it and the person who didn't wash was just standing and texting while all of us were very busy and tired cleaning up our station! >:c But when all the foods have been ready, my anger little by little began to fade. So then I passed the YHE form. Oh I did that pala before class pa. I was early so I took care of that. I asked my former professor Mr. Supendio to sign it. Hmm. Ok we talked for a while. But it's ok. I thought he left immediately after his class without saying goodbye. Haha drama! So I sat on my seat while waiting for the next class to start. I hugged my bag and closed my eyes for I was sleepy as well. Then I heard him calling my name.^___^ He waved goodbye. And so I did too. Then my frieind called me and said that he was calling me. For me not to look very excited and kilig, I told my friend to just tell him to go inside the room. Haha. But my friend said he was shy. Ok so i went outside acting normal. We (me and him) kind of talked about my friend (in front of her of course) and the guy who likes her or who liked her. Whatever. And then I just kept giggling. Deep inside I was giggling because he was there in front of me and not because the crush of my friend also has a crush on her. Highschool! haha

So there. I guess that's it. An overwiew. See ya ^___^

TWILIGHT movie review :-)

A MUST-SEE (especially to those who've read it)! :-)

I don't know how to start this review for i am so overwhelmed by the film. The story itself was "FANTASTIC". The love story of Edward and Bella was extraordinary. It showed that love knows no boundaries. The love they shared was passionate...not in a sensual sense. It was so strong that they both risked their lives just to be with and protect the one they love.


Edward Cullen. Oh Edward Cullen. When will i find my own Edward Cullen?haha I was sooooo kilig when he first appeared. He was so gorgeous. Hot. He was almost perfect. I just didn't like it that he's toooooooooo white. Exaggeratedly white. His love for Bella was unfathomable. I loved the part wherein he and Bella started going out and he made "akbay" to Bella when they were walking in school. It's like telling everyone that she's his girl; that he's proud of her. Also, it was so sweet of him when he started mingling with the other teens in their school and even joined prom because he knows that it was important for Bella to experience. I saw it as him changing his old ways and venturing into something new, something that isn't his thing just for the girl he loves.♥ I love every bit of him. All of his lines were delivered perfectly. All his movements were smooth and oh-so-perfect. For a girl, you wouldn't find any reason NOT to love Edward Cullen. Every part of him just gives you millions of reasons to love him.
Learning points from the movie:
♥ No matter what your differences are, if love is present, both parties will be able to willingly accept those differences.
♥ As for the Cullen family, they accepted Edward's girlfriend Bella wholeheartedly except for Rosalie. But in the end, she accepted and tried to protect Bella as well.
♥ This, i believe, is the most important lesson i learned. Even if you are made/designed to be someone, you still have the power to control yourself if you really don't want to be that someone that everyone believes you are. I couldn't explain it well though haha. Ok first Edward was about to kill the enemy vampire [i forgot the name =p] but then his foster dad stopped him and told him that he [Edward] knows that he isn't like that. He doesn't kill. Prior to that scene, Edward told Bella that he was designed to kill. But then, because he didn't want to kill even if he was made to do that, he still controlled himself and had the power over that temptation which was to kill the enemy. Another was when Edward was to suck out the venom from Bella. He was afraid that if he'll do that, he might just get so "attached" to her blood and not stop sucking it which will cause her death. But, with the help and motivation of his foster dad to control himself and have a will to stop, Edward was able to resist the temptation of sucking all of Bella's blood no matter how delicious it is for him. So you see, no matter what temptation we are faced with, with our Father's help, we can overcome it and have the power to say no to it. Even if everyone believes that it is OK to sin for it is our nature, we still have the power to resist it and choose to do what is good especially if it concerns the one we love.


After watching Twilight, i now have the courage to tell those who call this movie demonic that they aren't right. Like any other movies, they just used some fantasy to entertain the viewers but the story itself isn't bad at all. If you are just gonna look at it deeply and positively, the message of the movie is very good and has a lesson.^___^

ersao.

This day and yesterday were pretty good. At long last a person with a good heart lent me Twilight. That person is Jay Tudio, my classmate in Cathwor. I am pressured to finish that book within the week so that i can watch the movie. They told and i also beleive that it is better to finish reading the book first before watching it. So that's what i'm gonna do.

We also had our shooting for our Perdevt project a while ago. And i was so hungry. After that, Pj and i ate at Ersao. I ordered the same dish i ordered the first time i ate there--spicy squid [pero sinabi ko kay ate wag spicy] hahaha. So there. What else?

There was also a creepy incident in the jeep a while ago. There was this man in his 40's who was sitting on my right. At some point, nagbreak yung jeep. So the tendency was for the passengers to be carried away to the direction where the pressure was. The man on my right leaned on me and didn't even say sorry. His lean was longer than usual. I just moved to my left para mawala pagkakasandal niya sa akin. On my peripheral view, I could see him staring at me. I pretended to look outside to make sure if he was really staring. True enough, he indeed was. On a certain street, he made para. I felt a sudden relief. But before he went down the jeep, he moved a little closer to me and whispered in a low and creepy voice, "Ang ganda mo". I pretended not to hear. When he finally got off, I looked around and checked if the man on my left heard it but he didn't. Sobrang kinilabutan ako nun. Instead of feeling flattered, i felt to scared. >.<

I'm happy. Period. Bye :-)

Oh by the way, let me post some of Bella Swan's [Twilight] lines that i looooove [Chapter 4 palang ako as of now] ^___^

"...his face was absurdly handsome."

"The look only lasted a second, but it chilled me more than the freezing wind."

"...and it was worse because he wasn't in school at all...I couldn't get out of the nagging suspicion that I was the reason he wasn't there. It was ridiculous and egotistical to think that I could affect anyone that strongly. It was impossibe. And yet I couldn't stop worrying that it was true."

"I looked up, stunned that he was speaking to me...His dazzling face was friendly, open, a slight smile and his flawless lips...My mind was spinning with confusion."

"When he touched me, it stung my hand as if an electric current had passed through us."

"Paranoia swept over me again."

"His face was such a distraction that I tried not to look at it anymore than courtesy absolutely demanded."

"He looked fascinated by what I said, for some reason I couldn't imagine...I couldn't fathom his interest, but he continued to stare at me with penetrating eyes, as if my dull life's story was somehow vitally important."

"He smiled widely, flashing a set of perfect, ultrawhite teeth."

"I was in disbelief that I'd just explained my dreary life to this bizarre, beautiful boy who may or may not despise me."

"I couldn't see his face, just his back as he walked away from me, leaving me in the blackness. No matter how fast I ran, I couldn't catch up to him; no matter how loud I called, he never turned."

miXed >.<

Today was a mixture of a little sadness and so much funnnn :-) It was sad because i didn't get to see him :[ He was absent. >.< haha affected maxado?

It was so fun because we had this skit in our PHILIEN (Philippine Literature) class. We are to make an interview regarding child molestation. The video might be uploaded in youtube ;-)

So Abigail Tan (who was behind the white screen) was the victim; Earl Fesalbon & Joshua De Asis were the talkshow hosts; Kelvin Basa & I were the ones reenacting Abbie's story; Hiroshi Okuda & Ivan Milanes were the production staff and cameramen; and most of all, Ciara Gigante was the prolific scriptwriter and the mother in the story. I really had fun! You'll see in the video why i did *wink*

JESSICA! Ü

hindi na ako pikon :-)

doomed >.<

This is not good. This is sick. Totally sick. Let me call it "1 week of infatuation". ok yeah i got it from the Tagalog song Isang Linggong Pagibig. >.<

I was already feeling it. I thought this would be the start of something nice. Well, too much of my high expectations, ambitions and daydreaming.....

It was going well. Then one day. Yesterday. Something different happened. And today as well. It was different. Grr. I hate it. But i still got one text. That's all. Grr. I hate it. Argh! I'm so pissed. And so are you for not understanding what I'm saying >.<

I even made a comic strip out of it then this is what's gonna happen. Tsk! I shouldn't have expected and assumed. Nakakapikon.

It sucks >.<

breathless ^___^

this day was nice. and i truly mean it when i say NICE. :-) i don't want to go into details though, sorry :p Sa mga nakakaalam, alam niyo na yun. Atin-atin nalang yun :D

i just love where i am right now. where we're at. where everyone else are. haay. i just love life. life is too short to be wasting it regretting and forcing yourself to someone who doesn't want you, who doesn't make you happy and who doesn't love you.

Life is beautiful.

^________________________^

haaay seems like everything is falling into its perfect place. well, ok not perfect but almost there and i'm contented with it :))

i'm soooooooooo happy with my life right now. i'm in good terms with everyone i should be in good terms with. i enjoy a loving and harmonious relationship with my mom, my dad, my brother, mama aida, cousins and friends. God is so good! I am claiming God's promise in Psalm 37:4 which says,

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."

This has always been the desire of my heart--to be in a happy relationship with everyone and always be cheerful and positive. Ever since I let go of "that thing" which God has been telling me to let go, everything just went into place. All of this happened. I can proudly say that i'm so happy and contented with my life right now. Truly, God is faithful. He never fails to fulfill His promises ^___^ i looooove You LORD! :))

If you are facing a very trying situation right now, don't lose heart. Trust in God. Just give Him all your pains and sorrows and follow His Word. He will never fail to bless you. And that circumstance which you are facing is His way of teaching you and showing you His power and love for you. All you have to do is TRUST HIM.

"All things work together for the good of those who love Him, to those who are called according to His purpose." -Romans 8:28


"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

a very nice quote...got this from Ate Jove =)

By setting a person free, you run a risk of them not returning. But always remember that you found them beautiful precisely because they were free. People are like sunlight. You can feel their warmth, and their glow, but you can't hold them in your hand and keep them with you forever. People choose to stay. But a choice is made more meaningful when it is made despite so many other options. Love has no restrictions and it is through mistakes that sometimes we see the right answer. Because if you love someone, you ask them for nothing and they will come back to you.

i never thought that i'd catch this love bug again...^_^

haaaaaaaay...i don't know hahaha. i just don't know what to say. i'm just happy. period =)

ok magtaglish na nga! haha kainis! :p basta namiss ko lang talaga yung feeling na toh kaya tuloy sobrang saya ko. alam niyo yun? yung parang may tao na sobrang tagal mo nang hindi nakikita tapos nung nakita mo na at nakasama mo pa sobrang saya mo kasi sobrang namiss mo siya? Well, ganun yung nafifeel ko. Hindi nga lang tao kundi "feeling" :p Namiss ko yung may sobrang concerned, yung laging nangangamusta and all, yung tinatanong kung ano ginagawa ko, yung naglalaan talaga ng time and load para makatext ako, etc. Oo na sige na mababaw na pero so what? Eh sa dun ako masaya eh! =)

But i know my boundaries. Hanggang kilig nalang muna ako ngayon =) Ok na toh. Hindi pa ako ready ulit masaktan and makapanakit kahit hindi ko sinasadya. Ok naman kahit friends lang eh. Masaya nga yun eh =) At malay ko ba kung may gusto rin yung tao sa akin? haha. Masyado na akong feeler kasi eh. Mabait lang pinaghihinalaan ko na agad :p Sorry naman.Ö Ocge hindi na =))

Sa sobrang saya ko minsan para na akong baliw sa jeep na ngumingiti magisa. Alam mo yun, yung ngiti kapag kinikilig! Hahaha. Baliw! Kinikilig sa ganun lang! =)) Haay nako. Hindi ko maexpress gaano ako kinikilig. Basta KINIKILIG AKO!!!

But contrary to this, i'm still not sure if i still like him. My ex. I don't know if i still love him. Ah ewan! Kainis! Confused ang loka! =))

What do you think?O_o

a Sunday to remember... =[

We were supposed to go there for the annual family reunion but it turned out that we went there for a funeral =[

We (mom, mama Aida and me) left around 7:30am to catch the bus that will be leaving for Hagonoy Bulacan. There were two deaths in the family (father's side). The one is my dad's lola of some sort and the other one was his cousin.....his first cousin =[

It was actually my first time toexperience and witness that kind of scenario. I thought that those who are crying really loud over the deceased loved one and those who even talk to their loved one asking them why they left--i thought those were exaggerated or worse is "scripted". But when i was there seeing the real thing, i, who isn't that really close to the one who died, was totally moved. I too was grieved. I was sad for her 3 young girls, her sisters and brothers and her mom. I saw a while a ago that they really loved her. It was so evident that she had always been a very good daughter, sister and friend.

I wasn't able to spend much time with this tita of mine when she was still alive but the few memories i had with her were wonderful. When i was young, she used to give me teddy bears and other stuff toys from Japan and baby powder. She was so sweet to me and would always invite us to their house. I even remember tha she allowed me to play in their computer. =[

That was the last time i saw her. Her death was very sudden. She was so young and her beautiful children were so young as well. They said that she died because of depression. Her husband left her and went with somebody else and more WORSE problems...worse than i could ever imagine :'(

The whole day I learned a lot. When i heard one of her sisters say, "Ate, bakit mo kami iniwan? Bakit ka sumuko? Bakit hindi mo kami inantay? Andito naman sila Benny ah!", i realized that being with the ones you love and showing them that you are there for them is really important. We often times take it for granted to talk to them or ask them how they are doing. Worse, we even ignore them and show no concern at all even if we see that something is wronng. We even joke around and make fun of them. It opened my eyes to the fact that we should always be there for the people we love. We should never fail to express our care and concern for them. We may be far physically but we can still show our love for them. We could text them, email and call them from time to time to let them know that there is somebody who cares for them and loves them so much and is willing to listen to their problems. Also, when they haven't heard the Word of God, we should not waste any minute NOT sharing it to them. So when they die, we won't regret anything. We won't regret not telling them what they ought to know and we won't regret not giving them the love they need.

On the other hand, i was also reminded that nothing can ever change the fact that someone has died. No matter how loud and how hard we cry, it won't bring them back. We just have to accept it if we lose someone (by death, breakup, etc.). NOTHING can bring them back. Life must go on for us. They will never come back. And when they do.........it's weird. It's not right anymore. Isn't it?

Well, let me just sidetrack you for a while. One of my cousins will get married on the 7th of December and i'm an abay. :-)

So there...i hope you guys got something from this post. I hope that starting now, we would all show our loved ones especially our family how much we love and care for them. We should always remind them, not only through our words, but also through our actions that we are always here for them.^_^

i hate this feeling =[

Out of the blue, he texted me around 9:00am today telling me that he would go there. To the place where he knows that i always go to every Saturday. To church. He said he would go there. I just replied, "Ok! See you :-)" He didn't reply anymore. I wasn't surprised. Nothing's new there...

Knowing that I might see him gave me this feeling again. A feeling in my stomach which makes me want to vomit. It's not that i'm grossed out. I don't know. A feeling of excitement and dislike both at the same time. It just feels so uncomfortable. It feels like everything in me wants to go out. The feeling that makes me lose my appetite. No, it's not butterflies in the stomach. It's different. Oh well..

To cut the long story short, he didn't show up. I admit i kind of expected to see him. I was even kind of excited. But it's OK. He's not obligated. >.<

ang buhay sa jeep...*bow*

Ang aking mga nakaengkwentro sa jeep sa araw na ito ay mas marami kumpara sa mga nakaraan. Nagtungo ako nung umaga sa supplier ng aking mga binebentang relo upang kumuha ng mga orders. Sumakay lang kami ng aking mahal na si Mama Aida (aking ikalawang ina) ng jeep papunta't pauwi. Papunta ay wala namang ekstraordinariyong pangyayari. Pero nang pauwi ay meron.....

Una, isa nalang ang natitirang espasyo sa jeep. Eksakto nalang para sa isang tao. Sa mga sumasakay ng jeep, alam naman natin na kahit may isa pang bakanteng espasyong natitira ay magiging masikip na ito para sa uupo. Nang mga panahong iyon, ang espasyong natira ay doon sa aking kaliwa. Umusog ako pakanan upang kahit papaano'y madagdagan ang bahagi na uupuan ng huling pasahero. Sa kasamaang palad, hindi siya mgkasya sapagkat napakaliit na talaga ng espasyo. Hindi ko lubos na maisip kung bakit hindi siya magkasya dahil may nakikita pa akong espasyo sa aking kanan pero todo na rin ang aking usog. Napansin ko na ang aking magaling na katabi ay nakasideview. Naku! Nakakainis talaga ang mga sumasideview sa jeep! Wala silang konsiderasyon. Alam na nga nilang masikip, hindi pa rin sila gumagawa ng paraan para kahit papaano'y kumasya at maging komportable lahat ng nakasakay. Nakakapikon talaga! Dahil naaawa ako sa pasaherong hindi magkasya at naiinis ako sa katabi ko, sinabihan ko siya. "Miss pwede ba wag ka sumideview kasi?!" Oo na may bahid na ng katarayan. Pasensiya na.^_^

Ikalawa, may dinudukot ang aling nasa harap ko sa kanyang dibdib. Tila ba hirap na hirap siyang kunin kung anuman iyong nais niyang makuha. Nakakahiya man sabihin ngunit halos ilabas na niya ang kanyang buong dibdib dahil hindi talaga niya makuha ang bagay na kanyang minimithing makuha. Pasensiya na ngunit nakakadiri talaga. Makaraan ang ilang pagpoporsige, Nakuha na rin niya! Nakuha na niya ang baryang kanyang ibabayad sa drayber. Nang matanggap niya ang kanyang sukli, muli niya itong isinilid sa kanyang bra. >.<

Ikatlo, napaka trapik na nung pauwi. Nagkabuhol-buhol na ang mga sasakyan at halos walang umaandar. Nakikipagusap ang drayber ng naturang jeep sa traffic enforcer nang bigla ko nalang narinig ang traffic enforcer na nagsabing, "1 oras ka na jan? Wag ka naman masyadong exaggerated brad! Isang oras na pag galit ng mga pasahero mo!" Natawa lang ako sapagkat nag-english si kuya hahaha!

maligayang biyernes! =)

Hayaan niyo akong magkunwaring isang dalubhasa sa wikang Pilipino. Aking ginagaya sa mga sandaling ito ang aking kamag-aral na si Binibining Victoria Que sa kanyang pagtatagalog sa isa sa kanyang mga magagandang blog. :-)

Tila ba napakasaya ko sa araw na ito! Paumanhin nga lang na hindi ko maaaring sabihin ang kabuuan ng kwento sapagkat ang ibang mga bahagi ay konpidensiyal. Konpidensiyal ito hindi dahil ito ay masama o kahiya-hiya ngunit dahil baka tuksuhin na ako ng mga makakabasa nito kapag aking inilathalata ang konpidensiyal na part. :p

Maganda ang pagsisimula ko ng araw kaya baka pati ang gitnang bahagi hanggang sa huling bahagi ay tila maganda rin. Nag-enjoy ako ng lubusan sa aming Nutrilab kahit na sobrang nahirapan ako hiwain yung carrots dahil napakatigas nito. Kitang-kita ko na ang aking kaibigan na si Abbie ay tila nag-enjoy din sa kanyang paglagay ng spices sa loob at labas ng katawan ng kaawa-awang manok. Talagang nabusog kaming lahat sa mga masasarap na niluto ng bawat grupo. Hindi nga lang ako nakakain ng marami (hahaha!) dahil humihilab ang aking tiyan simula kahapon :( Pero ang pagsakit ng aking tiyan ay hindi naging sagabal sa aking pagkatuwa sa araw na ito.

Pagkatapos ng Nutrilab, nagtungo kami ni Abbie sa LRC. Nang papunta dun, aming nakita si Jorge, PJ at may isa pa silang kasama na hindi ko namukaan dahil malayo sila ng tawagin ako ni Jorge. Sa LRC, si Abbie ay naglaro ng kanyang DS at ako nama'y nagbasa at humiram ng libro na may pamagat na "I Wish I'd Said That". Ito ay isang self-help book na makakatulong sa ating communication skills. Makaraan ang ilang minuto, naisipan na namin ni Abbie na bumaba at pumunta na sa aming silid-aralan. Nang kami'y patungo na sa hagdan, nakita namin muli sila Jorge ngunit wala na yung ikatlo nilang kasama na hindi ko namukaan. Sila'y pababa na rin sa ika-9 na palapag ng gusali.

Masaya rin ako dahil napasa ko lahat ng aking mga takda na kinakailangan ipasa at kahit papano ay kinausap ako ni Kel hahaha. Tinanong niya ako kung nabasa ko raw ba yung pinapabasa ng aming propessor. Sabi ko hindi dahil hindi ko yun mahanap sa internet. Nakakatawa talaga yung bading namin na kaklase na tila ba'y patay na patay kay Kel. Sabi ba naman niya, "Kel, ang gwapo mo." Hahaha! At pilit pa niyang kinukuhanan ng litrato at idinodrawing si Kel. Palagay ko ay nagtitimpi nalang ang aming propessor sa gulo ng estudyanteng ito. ^_^. Naglaro din ako ng Deal or No Deal sa DS ni Abbie at ang napanalunan ko lang ay $0.01. Hahaha kaawa-awa! Pero OK lang :-)

Isa pang kinatutuwa ko ay may nadagdag nanaman sa mga bibili ng aking mga binebenta. Maraming salamat sa inyo! Tinutulungan niyo talaga ako =) Maraming maraming salamat =)

anu pa ba? Sa mga segundong ito, tinatanong ako ng aking matalik na kaibigan na si Jessica kung bakit daw ba ako kinikilig dahil ang status message ko ngayon sa YM ay, "Kinikilig akooooo!". Yoon ang parte ng aking araw na hindi ko maaaring sabihin =) Pasensiya na po =)

Sa ngayon ay ito palang ang mga masasabi ko. Masaya pa rin ako kahit hindi na muling tumawag yung modeling agency na sinabing tatawagan nila ako ulit. Sana ay magtuloy-tuloy na ang aking kaligayahan. Ang buhay ay napakaikli upang sayangin ito sa pagsisisi, pagiging malungkot at emo. Sana kahit papaano ay napasaya ko kayo sa aking blog =) Paalam!

...daydreaming...hahaha! =)

...WAKE UP REJOICE!Ü

happy day =)

This day was really nice. When i woke up, i told God that if He wanted me to take part in our church's building fund, He would be the One to provide the money that i'll be giving. Then i ate my breakfast, took a bath, brushed my teeth, dressed up, applied makeup on and combed my hair. I was kinda running late. I cannot afford to be late on my first subject. When i was about to leave, the phone rang. I never expected that call. EVER!

"Hello! Good morning." [me]

"Good morning! May I please speak with Ms. Regina Ramirez?"

"Yes? Who's this please?"

"This is [i forgot the name] from Faces Modelling Agency."

"Yes, this is Regina." [my eyes startled to sparkle and i began daydreaming hahaha]

"Oh good! I saw your online application and I would like to ask if you can drop by our office this Saturday for a photo and video shoot."

"Sure! What time?"

"3pm"

"Great! Umm is it ok if you just text to me your address? I'm about to leave and i might get late."

"Oh where are you going?"

"I'll be going to school."

"What time will you get back?"

"3 o'clock"

"Ok ok. I'll just call you up later around 4 or maybe tomorrow to tell you the address and what you have to bring with you on the photoshoot."

"Ok" [with a very big smile]

"Ok see you on saturday 3 o'clock Ms. Regina!"

"Ok. Thank you so much!"

Ok..i realized that not taking time was stupid. I should've grabbed a paper and a pen to get the address. Grr. But it's ok because if i did that i would've been late. Whew! Anyway, i couldn't explain my happiness when she introduced herself!! I wanted to jump and scream for joy!! That was a dream come true for me. I've always wanted to be a model. Even if that wasn't a guarantee of a job, i'm still so happy about it for at long last an agency noticed me and watned to book me atleast! Praise God! You think this is God's answer to my prayer this morning? I HOPE SO :-)

and then..what else? My classmate said she saw me on TV hahaha. I got interviewed kasi on the premier of HSM 3 lol. Actually, about 6 people said that hahaha. And then my classmate Fionn said he saw me on a magazine? Huh? What the? I never posed for any magazine. Haha. Weird. Or was it a stolen shot? Kidding! Whatever. At least i was there. I'm just so excited. Also, one of my buyers of the watch i'm selling added 1 more order. Yipee! And i have a new buyer as well :-) Praise God! :-)

that's all for now :-)

*Jessica, ano natawa ka ba?haha

The Truth I Never Want To Admit

This is the truth I never want to admit. The story I never want to tell. The memory I never want to recall. THE BREAKUP.

Call me emo. Call me melodramatic. I don’t care. I’ve moved on but there’s something in me that tells me to let this out. Something in me just doesn’t seem to settle down until I’ve said this.

So that’s it. We’re broken up. I believe that almost everybody thinks that I was the one who broke up with him because of “the message” [my bestfriend Jessica knows what that is.]. Sorry friends but that’s not the truth. HE BROKE UP WITH ME. We broke up even before he read my message. When he was saying his piece, I never mentioned anything about the letter. He told me that he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore [Didn’t he even think that I will get hurt with what he just didn?O_o]. He told me he will wait for the right time for us to be together again “legally”. He told me he will wait for me. He promised that we would still keep in touch and be good friends. But I guess he already forgot about that. I start to believe that promises really are meant to be broken.

I guess that’s the summary of the whole story. Maybe you could just connect my previous blog to this one to answer your questions (if you have).

I’m kind of surprised though that I wasn’t that depressed compared to our last breakup. I don’t know if that’s because I have a feeling that we shall be reconciled again or I just got tired of everything that breaking up was like a sigh of relief or something. As I look back on the days in which the issue was still fresh and I was there hoping that we would be together again soon, it now makes me think twice if that’s what I really want. Yes I admit that I still do love him a lot. But…..if we get back together, I have this feeling that history will just repeat itself. Heartache, frustration and guilt will be my companions once again. My cheeks shall be bathed with tears from time to time. And my mother’s intuition and doubts shall be like monsters under my bed. I wouldn’t want that anymore. Who would?

I believe that what we have and what we are right now are better than before. We get to think and realize stuff that we don’t even seem to notice when we were together. I want to believe that this endeavor will be the door for me to meet other people; to meet the one God has prepared for me. I am not in a hurry though and I am just enjoying my singleness and youth. Right now, having a boyfriend isn’t the most important thing in the world and it won’t be in my to-do list for some time.

So far, I am thankful to God for what He has blessed me with. I am thankful for my family and friends. I am very much happy and contented with my life right now. I know it won’t be easy and it would certainly take time. That’s why it’s better na rin that this happened now so that it would start na and would end just in time.

I have no idea when my love for him will start to fade. It may take a while for I promised him I will love him forever. I promised him that I will love him until they take my heart away. I promised him that I will love him until the seas run out of water. I promised to love him until the stars fall down from the sky. So should I wish that promises really are made to be broken?

“Have I really Fallen in Love?” [CATHWOR reflection paper]

Based on the 3 levels of love that were discussed this week, agape is the one that truly exhibits real love. I believe this because this is the only level in which nothing is expected in return. It seeks only the good of the person loved. As I understand it, agape is the love that is pure and selfless. Our professor mentioned that most people call those who exhibit agape love tanga. I guess that if that’s the real definition of tanga, I will be proud to say that I am one. Because of that, I suddenly began thinking and analyzing if I have been tanga.

When the topic is love, all my thoughts boil to one—memories with my ex-boyfriend. He was my first love and my first boyfriend as well. We were together for more than 2 years. As I look back on our relationship, I admit there were times that I demonstrated eros and philia kind of love which are not good at all. But I strongly believe that there were also times when I proved that my love for him is agape. Our relationship was far from perfect and it was at often times on the rocks. I don’t blame him to be the only cause and source of our conflicts. I know that I also do have my mistakes. Anyway, there have been numerous times he had hurt me and chose a computer game over me. Despite of that, I still continued to love him even if he doesn’t love me the way I do. I still give him my time and efforts even if he doesn’t give his. Most of my friends call me a martyr or tanga because of what I’m doing. I didn’t let them affect me for I know deep in my heart that this is how true love works. Even if we are broken up now, I still do love him. I am still waiting and hoping that THE day will come—the day that he will come back to me. That is the perfect day when God will allow and guide us to meet each other again.

Since I truly love him, the fact that he might meet someone better doesn’t make me mad. Yes, it saddens me for that person isn’t me. But because of the agape love I have for him, I won’t do anything to hinder that. If I push myself to him, I am robbing him of real and lasting joy that he is supposed to have. I am not “emo” and depressed about that though. God has always been here. He healed my wounds and mended my broken heart. He was the One Who made me accept the truths that takes a lifetime to accept. God gave me the hope that He would one day reveal to me the man He prepared me. I will WAIT for him.